Late-Term Abortion in Wanted Pregnancies

sharing information, stories and support for this heartbreaking decision

Abortion Doulas November 29, 2017

Filed under: Uncategorized — sammi @ 1:29 pm

Article from the Washington Post about DC’s Doulas for Choice, a volunteer based non-profit that supports women emotionally before, during and after surgical procedures in abortion clinics.  Every town and city needs organizations like this!

The long five minutes: Abortion doulas bring comfort during a complicated time–

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/the-long-five-minutes-abortion-doulas-bring-comfort-during-a-complicated-time/2017/11/27/c63f179c-9f04-11e7-8ea1-ed975285475e_story.html?tid=ss_mail&utm_term=.8a6250f5d71e

 

Contributors

Filed under: Uncategorized — sammi @ 1:11 pm

Here is a website created by someone who reached out to me recently through this website to collaborate on issues such as 1) reproductive health access as a lifetime journey and 2)having more open dialogue around the issue that not all abortions are wanted and there is no “right” choice.  Please check out the blog at: momvwade.org

Another reader, Jennifer, contacted me because she wanted to share supportive resources on grief with other women, especially with regard to how to help children when late termination happens in a family.  Here is her list of resources on bereavement:

Saying Goodbye: Talking to Kids About Death

Preparing for the Death of a Terminally-Ill Loved One: What to Expect, and How to Help the Entire Family Move Forward

Letting Children Share in Grief

The Bereaved Employee: Returning to Work

How to Create a Peaceful At-Home Hospice for Your Loved One

Keeping the Peace While Settling a Family Estate

5 Things You Must Know as the Executor of an Estate

 

 

2014 Policy Watch November 12, 2014

The Pro-Choice Firewall is Gone Post 2014 Elections

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Say NO to South Carolina’s Senator Lindsey Graham who introduced a bill to ban abortion at 20 weeks in all 50 states.  Please take a moment to click below and send a message to your state senator opposing a nationwide abortion ban that would endanger the lives of women.

https://secure.ppaction.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=16965&s_src=AbortionBan_1113_c4web&__utma=1.1063281966.1370366096.1373374796.1378501920.4&__utmb=1.3.10.1383848543&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1370366096.1.1.utmcsr=(direct)|utmccn=(direct)|utmcmd=(none)&__utmv=-&__utmk=116381318&__utma=1.1933725043.1415830718.1415830718.1415830718.1&__utmb=1.1.10.1415830718&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1415830718.1.1.utmcsr=google|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=210877077

 

About this Blog August 12, 2014

When my husband and I found out that the baby I carried had severe chromosomal abnormalities, we made the heartbreaking decision to terminate the pregnancy in the 19th week.  This decision was based on our doctors’ assessment that our baby was “incompatible with life” and that continuing the pregnancy would prolong the baby’s suffering and endanger my health.  In an anxious search online for stories of women who had experienced this traumatic loss and for information about the details of the medical procedure and its physical and emotional impacts, I was surprised not only by the lack of first account stories online, but by how many websites lured me into viewing their pro-life proselytizing content, urging me not to consider abortion.  During my darkest days after our baby’s diagnosis, on-line extremists called women like me considering a later abortion, “Baby-Killer.”

Some argue that termination for medical reasons is on higher moral ground than the termination of unwanted pregnancies.  I believe that whatever the reasons behind choosing abortion, nobody goes around wanting to have an abortion and all of us likely agonize over the decision and worry about the impact it will have on our physical and mental well-being.  We are all in the same boat after we choose that decision.  Everyone who decides on abortion wants legal access and safe procedures and no one wants to return to the days of botched alley abortions.  And yet politicians in 2014 want to turn back the clock on women’s rights and deny them access to their constitutionally protected right to having an abortion.  Pro-life extremists use violent tactics to intimidate (harm and kill) doctors and patients, insurance companies refuse coverage for abortion, making it difficult for women to afford the procedure, and “crisis pregnancy centers” trick and manipulate vulnerable women away from medically accurate information about abortions.  Women seeking abortions must increasingly submit to forced sonograms, mandatory waiting periods and parental consent forms–with less and less available clinics and providers that can provide a safe procedure.  There is a lot of work ahead of us.

Although the purpose of this blog is to help support the needs of women who decide to terminate wanted pregnancies, this experience has recommitted me to supporting legislation that upholds the rights of all women to have access to safe and legal abortions in both wanted and unwanted pregnancies.  Through the sharing of personal stories, relevant articles, resources and current information about the process of late-term abortions and the policies that affect them, I hope to help ease the pain for women experiencing this kind of late-term pregnancy loss.  I dedicate this blog to all the courageous doctors who have helped women in situations similar to mine and to all those who have fought for the reproductive rights of women in the US and around the world.

–Sammi (not my real name)

 

Interview of Late-Term Abortion Doctors July 12, 2014

Click the link below to view an interview by Huffington Post Live of three of the last handful of openly practicing late-abortion doctors who continue to help women despite the threats against them.

http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segment/late-term-abortions-documentary-after-tiller/50f98a8a78c90a0f550002bc

These three doctors were also featured in the documentary, “After Tiller” (see link below).  You can watch the documentary by renting/purchasing in iTunes, Google Play or Amazon.

http://aftertillermovie.com

 

My Story May 16, 2013

Here is my very long and detailed story about our pregnancy loss and later-term abortion at 19 weeks:

Even though it was winter and bitterly cold after a big storm hit our city, my husband and I decided to go with our son to the beach to take our annual holiday card photo.  In front of the powerful waves we both loved to watch, my husband set up the camera to get a full-body view of me and I made sure everyone would be able to see my pudgy, protruding belly by accentuating its form with my hands.  The waves would be a good symbol, I thought, for the strength I’d need during the upcoming labor and birth of our second child.  Everything was rosy in our family and the pregnancy had gone as planned for 18 weeks–joyful and easy.   When I look at that photo now, I remember all of the excitement that came with that pregnancy–wondering what our future family would look like, if our baby was going to be a boy or a girl, trying to imagine the exhausting yet exhilarating first days of our new baby’s life.  The powerful kicks in my tummy were constant reminders that all was well and that I’d finally made it to the half-way point in the pregnancy.  Soon, we’d be on our way to every pregnant couple’s favorite doctor’s visit: the level 2 ultrasound appointment when you get to finally see that clear ultrasound image of your baby, know for almost certain that everything with the baby is okay (and for sure, it would be!) and finally, to find out if “it” is a boy or a girl (I was secretly hoping “it” was a girl).

In the first trimester, I had “passed” the Nuchal Translucency (NT) and AFP blood screenings for chromosomal disorders and heart defects with flying colors, so when I went in to get blood drawn for the Triple Screen in my second trimester, I felt confident that we’d receive similar good news.  I had every reason to believe that we were going to soon be honing in on girl or boy names for our perfect, little baby as we looked admiringly at a clear level 2 ultrasound image.  But that belief was set aside when we received the Triple Screen results indicating a “positive screen.” At that time, we were told that many positive screens for the Triple Screen end up being false positives due to maternal age and to not worry too much, especially since our first trimester screens gave us a low chance of abnormalities.  In any case, I would need to get an amnio and have a level 2 ultrasound immediately. While giddy, chatty couples flipped through parenting and baby magazines in the lobby, my husband and I held hands in silence, trying to muster up courage and cling onto the hope that we’ll leave with ultrasound images of a perfect baby, maybe even giving us a thumbs-up that all was okay after all.  The technician came in and started to take many measurements of the baby’s image on the screen.  After every measurement she took, the look on her face got more and more serious and she remained nearly silent the whole time.  I tried to lighten things up by smiling at her and asking her in a friendly tone, “What measurement is that?” or “How can you tell what that is with such blurry images?” or “Is that the leg or the penis?”  I’ll never forget her lack of response and that cold look and demeanor of hers that day.  I think I must have begun to go into some sort of denial at this point because under normal circumstances, I’d be able to put everything together and know that something was very wrong, but in my hope that she was just a rude person, I kept asking my questions.  Then, I noticed my husband no longer had the fake smile on his face and had a look of worry and fear instead.  When I asked the technician if she could tell if it was a boy or a girl, she gave me the curt answer:  “I’m not even thinking about boy or girl right now, I’m really not.”  As if she had a reason to be mad!  And then she walked out of the room in a hurry.

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Share Your Story April 3, 2013

Filed under: Share Your Story — sammi @ 1:56 am

Getting our stories out and voices heard is important!  If you’re going through or have had a termination of a wanted pregnancy and want to share your story to help others and increase awareness about later abortions, you can email me at helpingwords4u@gmail.com and I’ll post your story under this blog category. Together, we can de-stigmatize and humanize the experiences of women who have later abortions and help those experiencing this kind of pregnancy loss to not feel so alone.  You can use a different name for privacy if you’d like, too.  Here are links to stories from readers of this blog:

Cassandra’s Story (22 Weeks – Low Amniotic Fluid): http://makethebestofwhatsaround.weebly.com/

Jennie’s Story (23 weeks – Encephaloceles):  http://www.onsunshine.com/blog/

 

Abortion Policies Watch – 2013 January 13, 2013

Kate Sheppard of Mother Jones looks at 5 anti-abortion states to watch in 2013:

Mississippi: Mississippi lawmakers passed a new law back in April requiring all doctors who provide abortions to have admitting privileges at a local hospital. Given the strongly anti-abortion bent in the state, hospitals have all refused to grant those privileges. The resulting crisis may lead to the closure of the state’s last abortion clinic, the Jackson Women’s Health Organization—just as lawmakers hoped. The clinic was given until January 11 to try to come into compliance with the new law, but now it’s clear that it can’t, so the Center for Reproductive Rights has asked the judge to declare the law unconstitutional. Both sides are expected back in court in early 2013.

Virginia: In September, Virginia’s Board of Health voted to require all abortion clinics in the state to comply with strict new building codes, backtracking from an earlier vote that would have grandfathered in existing clinics. The rules mean that many clinics would need to make expensive upgrades to their facilities, or could be forced to close entirely. Gov. Bob McDonnell signed off on them last month, and they will now undergo another public comment period and Board of Health vote. Meanwhile, Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli—who blocked the attempt to protect existing clinics from the new rules—is the GOP front-runner in the 2013 governor’s race.

Texas: Where to start on Texas? The state defunded Planned Parenthood, and already requires women seeking abortions to have invasive sonograms or listen to the fetus’ heartbeat. Next year promises even more anti-choice initiatives. Texas plans to begincollecting information about women seeking abortions and the doctors who provide them next year—a move that critics say is an invasion of privacy. In December, Gov. Rick Perry said hewill support a ban on all abortions after 20 weeks’ gestation next year, in pursuit of his desire “to make abortion at any stage a thing of the past.” And lawmakers in the state are also already talking about restricting medication abortions next year.

Arizona: In April, Arizona passed a new law banning most abortions after 20 weeks. Although Arizona was the sixth state to pass one of these so-called “fetal pain” laws, the legislation was notable in that it was more restrictive than previous versions, as it actually banned abortions two weeks earlier than other states. The Center for Reproductive Rights and the ACLU filed suit, but a judge upheld the law. CRR appealed to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, which granted a stay while it considers the arguments. The outcome will likely be determined sometime in 2013.

North Dakota: The state House passed a “personhood” measure in 2011. HB 1450 would “recognize the value and dignity of every living human being,” according to state Rep. Dan Ruby. It didn’t pass the Senate, however. But the North Dakota Legislature only meets every other year, so they’ll be back in 2013 and will probably have some new anti-abortion legislation ready to go.

5 Anti-Abortion States to Watch in 2013

 

Our Ultrasound Farewell January 28, 2012

Filed under: Memorializing Your Baby — sammi @ 10:05 am

This is the final ultrasound image we received before the fetus was euthanized with a shot of digoxin.  It was a hearbreaking moment looking at the screen, seeing the baby move and being able to make out the profile of her face, and knowing what was to be her fate.  My husband and I asked the doctor to see the image of the baby one last time and for us, it was a very helpful “coming to terms” moment that we do not regret.  Had it been an earlier abortion or an unwanted pregnancy, I’m sure I would not have wanted to see a final ultrasound like this.  More recently, I have learned that legislation is being passed across the country to mandate ultrasound viewing in abortion care, usually as a means to manipulate the women’s decision-making process, which I find both sneaky and scary.  To find out more about mandated ultrasound viewing in abortion care, click the link below.

http://www.ansirh.org/research/ultrasound.php

Final ultrasound at 19 weeks. Initially, it was nice to have these tangible mementos, even if it was only to confirm and remind us of the existence of our ill-fated pregnancy.

A week and a half before the final ultrasound above, we received this ultrasound at 17 weeks from the perinatologists, right after they told us there was something catastrophically wrong with the baby’s heart.

Ultrasound at 17 weeks--the appointment that found severe defects in the baby's heart, "incompatible with life". The image is so clear and "normal" looking! If it were so "catastrophic," how could the fetus have survived for so long and look so peaceful like this, we wondered. The news that our baby most likely had a "chromosomal problem" and that we would soon have to terminate the pregnancy, was devastating.

And, here is the first ultrasound our OBGYN took to confirm the pregnancy in the initial weeks of pregnancy.  Things were looking peachy back then.

The first ultrasound that brought such excitement and joy, confirming the pregnancy from our OBGYN.

 

Baby’s Urn January 27, 2012

Filed under: Memorializing Your Baby — sammi @ 9:59 pm

The last thing before going into surgery that I wanted to think about was the type of wood for the baby’s urn–the final receptacle that would hold the ashes of the cremated baby, but the clinic staff surprised us by asking us detailed questions about cremation, urns and related merchandise.  Although it was off-putting at the time, I was grateful that I was given the option of having a private company perform the cremation (instead of the more crass-sounding legally mandated “medical disposal” option), and given another option to keep the remains of the baby if we wished.  The basic services for the funeral director and staff overseeing the process cost $225 and the urn (walnut/cherry), $110–not a cheap keepsake.  We also looked into the possibility of interring the urn in my father’s grave but it turned out that it was cost prohibitive and a difficult process.  The total for the cremation and the urn was over $300, but we were glad we did it–the urn surprisingly served an important role in our grief process.  Although our original plan was to scatter the baby’s ashes into the ocean, the urn comforted us so much that we decided to keep it in our home as a reminder of life’s fleeting presence.

ABOVE: The walnut/cherry urn from Atlantis Cremation & Burial that stores the baby’s ashes inside.  We thought of scattering the baby’s ashes but found that the urn has a comforting presence for us and kept in on the mantel instead…I know, a little odd for a mantelpiece!

 

The Details of My Dilation and Evacuation (D&E) Procedure January 26, 2012

Filed under: The Procedure - Late-Term Abortion — sammi @ 10:20 pm

I went in to the Center (that specializes in late-term abortions) on a Monday to have 5 laminaria sticks (a cervical dilator) inserted into the cervix to help slowly open it.  I was under “light” general anesthesia (for 10 minutes) for this insertion process and I was grateful for that option after reading stories of women who felt a lot of pain during this part of the procedure with topical anesthetic to the cervix.  The baby was also euthanized by a shot of digoxin on this day.  Although it was a relatively pain-free process for me, the feeling of ending the life that had grown inside me for 5 months, was emotionally horrible and took a big toll on me for months after the procedure.  I had some brief moments of nausea after the laminaria insertion but felt very little discomfort or cramping  that Monday.  The doctors gave me Anaprox, Vicodin and some sleeping pills and told me to use them only if I needed them. I took two of the Anaprox, more out of anxiety for possible pain than for any actual discomfort  I experienced, which was very mild, like common menstrual cramps. Thankfully, I dilated quickly enough to have the procedure done the following day (for others, I had heard it could take up to 4 days). I think I also started taking antibiotics in case of infection on this day as well.

(Halcion, .25MG. tablets.  4 prescribed to me as a sleep aid after the abortion.  If I had taken one maybe I wouldn’t have had the bad case of phantom kicking that night.  )

On Tuesday, I went into the Center many hours earlier than my appointment to get ready for the D&E procedure. I was put under “light” general anesthesia again (this time for 20 minutes) and the doctor performed the D&E without complications.  I felt lucky to have had the option to “go under” during both procedures.  I found out later that it is rare to have a full-time anesthesiologist working alongside the OBGYN performing later abortions.  After the procedure, I had some very light bleeding and a little cramping for about a week, but nothing physically difficult.  From Monday night I had some phantom kicking, followed by a couple of phantom crying episodes, and then my milk came in.  Having to deal with breast milk without a baby there to nurse was a quite sad and surreal experience.


(Here are the instructions I was given after the termination procedure.  The instructions say to monitor the amount of bleeding, pain, cramping and fever I  experience after the procedure.  For me, I was lucky to have had only mild bleeding and cramping for a week after the procedure. You can click the image to read the instructions. )

Here is an overview of the D&E procedure from everydayhealth.com that is very similar to the explanation my doctor gave us when we asked for details–

D&E usually takes 30 minutes. It is usually done in a hospital but does not require an overnight stay. It can also be done at a clinic where doctors are specially trained to perform abortion. During a D&E procedure, your doctor will:

  • Give you a first dose of antibiotic to prevent infection.
  • Position you on the exam table in the same position used for a pelvic exam, with your feet on stirrups while lying on your back.
  • Insert a speculum into the vagina.
  • Clean the vagina and cervix with an antiseptic solution.
  • Give you a pain medicine injection in the cervical area (paracervical block) along with a sedative. If the procedure is done in an operating room, you could receive a spinal anesthesia injection into the fluid around the spinal cord, which numbs the area between your legs, or general anesthesia, which makes you unconscious.
  • Grasp the cervix with an instrument to hold the uterus in place.
  • Dilate the cervical canal with probes of increasing size. An abortion in the second 12 weeks will need the cervix to be dilated more than required for a vacuum aspiration.
  • Pass a hollow tube (cannula) into the uterus. The cannula is attached by tubing to a bottle and a pump that provides a gentle vacuum to remove tissue in the uterus. Some cramping is felt during the rest of the procedure.
  • Pass a grasping instrument (forceps) into the uterus to grasp larger pieces of tissue. This is more likely in pregnancies of 16 weeks or more and is done before the uterine lining is scraped with a curette.
  • Use a curved instrument (curette) to gently scrape the lining of the uterus and remove tissue in the uterus.
  • Use suction, which may be done as a final step to make sure the uterine contents are completely removed.
  • Give you a medicine to reduce the amount of bleeding with the procedure.
  • The uterine tissue removed during the D&E is examined to make sure that all of the tissue was removed and the abortion is complete.
  • Doctors may use ultrasound during the D&E procedure to confirm that all of the tissue has been removed and the pregnancy has ended.

Dilation and evacuation (D&E) is a surgical procedure. A normal recovery includes:

  • Irregular bleeding or spotting for the first 2 weeks. During the first week, avoid tampons and use only pads.
  • Cramps similar to menstrual cramps, which may last from several hours to a few days, as the uterus shrinks back to its nonpregnant size.
 

Imprint of the Baby’s Hands and Feet

Filed under: Memorializing Your Baby — sammi @ 9:21 pm

Although it may seem  morbid to some, one thing my husband and I are so glad we requested was to get the hand and footprints of the baby after the termination procedure.  It is one of the only tangible items we possess from that life-changing experience and not only does it help us to remember the experience and the baby,  it also confirmed to us in those imprints that our baby did in fact have serious deformities– having 6 digits in each foot, instead of 5.  Having initially been in denial about our situation and then wondering if the tests could all just be wrong, this concrete proof of our baby having Trisomy 13 (Patau Syndrome) helped comfort us more than any blurry ultrasound or test result ever could.  This still sits on our mantel next to the urn (which contains the ashes that we never scattered) and even with each passing year, is difficult to put away.

 

Poor Prenatal Diagnosis January 16, 2012

Filed under: Poor Prenatal Diagnosis — sammi @ 7:41 pm

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Poor Prenatal Diagnosis is a website that is dedicated to helping parents better understand a poor prenatal diagnosis in a time of crisis.  The website has hundreds of links to an exhaustive list of over 40 prenatal conditions from Anecephaly to Spina Bifida to Trisomies 13, 15, 18, 21 and 22.  If you have just been given a poor prenatal diagnosis, this website can be a first step in helping you make an informed decision and lead you to many resources.

http://www.poorprenataldiagnosis.com/Default.aspx

The site also has a great list of websites that offer information on prenatal testing, including the Alpha-Fetal Protein Test (AFP), Amniocentesis, Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS) and Nuchal Translucency Scan (NTS).

http://www.poorprenataldiagnosis.com/Testing.aspx

 

Not Regretful about Decision to Terminate January 9, 2012

Filed under: Decision to Terminate — sammi @ 5:31 pm

One of the main reasons why I wanted to start this blog is because when my husband and I decided to terminate our wanted pregnancy at 19 weeks, I turned to the internet for support, especially since no one in my circle of friends or family had ever experienced such a procedure or loss.  I was surprised by the lack of women’s voices online about their experiences with later term abortions in wanted pregnancies.  Instead, I came across websites that tried to convince me that I was making a poor decision, that I’d have a lifetime of regret and sorrow (with pages of personal testimonies to prove it), and that I should be suspicious about the doctors’ reasonings that convinced me to make the decision to terminate in the first place.  In the worst cases, internet searches on late termination led me to extremist “baby-killer” type websites replete with graphic images of fetuses and damning quotes from the bible.  These websites were both frightening and infuriating to me and negatively impacted my already fragile state of mind. It is this memory that led me to create this blog in the hopes that more accurate and helpful information for women seeking later abortions will be available to them online.

I don’t regret the decision I made to terminate my wanted pregnancy and support others and their families who make this difficult decision.  I fully believe the doctors’ diagnosis of Trisomy 13 in our baby was as serious and fatal as they said it was.  The “half a heart” and other defects the baby had were soon going to make her incompatible with life.  Whether that was in a week in utero, or days after her birth, we did not want any suffering on her part to continue–she was in no peaceful, natural state of being, as many online would like me to believe.  I also understood that if I allowed my pregnancy to continue, the chance that the baby would die in utero increased, causing a greater risk to my health as well. Having had the “easier” decision to terminate a pregnancy with the “unviable” Trisomy 13 prognosis, I often wonder about the heartache involved for parents who decide to terminate a pregnancy with Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome) or a less fatal or debilitating fetal anomaly and the judgement that comes from that act.  This blog is also dedicated to you.

Although it was a very difficult decision and sad chapter in our lives, my husband and I are so grateful for the guidance and care we received from the doctors and the technology and science that allowed us to find out about our baby’s chromosomal abnormality and defects in the first place.  We also feel so lucky that one of the handful of clinics around the country specializing in later abortions, was 20 minutes away from our home in Los Angeles.  We couldn’t imagine what it would be like for the Australian woman who sat next to us in the Clinic’s waiting room, who had to travel half way around the world for this specialized care.  For us, terminating the pregnancy when we did was the most humane, loving decision we, as parents could make.  The abortion also saved us from the additional physical trauma and heartache caused by a later vaginal birth of a stillborn baby, or baby that would struggle to live only for a brief time.  This blog is dedicated to all of the women and men who had to make the difficult decision to terminate their wanted pregnancies and for all the people who continue to fight for the reproductive rights of women.

 

My Mental Health Issues after Pregnancy Loss January 2, 2012

Here are some ways in which I think my experience of having to terminate a wanted pregnancy posed unique mental health issues for me.  The normal grief that I would experience from a pregnancy loss was exacerbated by not being able to be fully open about my feelings with people due to the abortion stigma factor.  I wished that I could have prepared myself better by hearing more stories from others in similar situations or speaking with a specialized counselor before this difficult period in my life.  Hopefully, by sharing some of the details of my experience, it can help others to better cope and heal.

  • Imagining the details of the late-term abortion itself was scary for me, mainly because reliable and up to date information was not available to me.  At first, I felt a lot of anxiety not knowing what the procedure entailed and how, in medical terms, my baby’s life was going to end.  I was worried about the health risks associated with going under (with general anesthesia) on both Day 1 and Day 2, and about the risks of the actual surgical procedure.  I worried about how much the stigma of abortion and the images I had seen in the media of “baby-killers” (especially surrounding the controversy of “late-term abortions”) would impact my psyche and ability to recover from this experience.  I worried that I would encounter angry pro-life activists protesting outside the clinic where I would have the procedure.
  • After the baby was euthanized on the first day of the procedure, I continued to feel the baby kick for several weeks after.  This “phantom kicking” that many people describe (even after women birth healthy babies or aren’t even pregnant) was a very strange and unsettling experience for me.  I figured that it was a psychosomatic response to the emotionally stressful termination process but I have read that others attribute it to local nerve damage, ligament readjustment or abdominal/uterine muscle readjustment, or gas.  To make matters worse, I also experienced “phantom crying” a couple of times in the first week after the procedure, at night when the house was quiet.  In both instances I actually got up out of my chair to look for the crying baby.
  • In our case, the genetic test results of our baby’s chromosomal abnormality showed that we were in the rare 5% of people who have a genetic incompatibility called a Robertsonian Translocation, that usually shows up again in subsequent pregnancies with high odds.  This added another layer of worry and grief to the situation, especially when I thought about how I may never be able to have more children (luckily, this wasn’t the case).
  • After a month or so after the procedure, I was surprised by how sad and “off” I still felt.  The mild feelings of depression that I had (feeling empty, not sleeping well, having low energy and not wanting to do anything) were overlapping with feelings of grief and loss (disbelief, anger, regret, and anxiety), which I took as a normal response to the loss I had faced.  It still took at least 6 months to begin to feel “normal” again, even thought I knew the process of grief I experienced, was, in fact “normal.”
  • It was stressful not knowing which one of your friends and family were morally/politically opposed to abortion, which made it difficult to openly talk about what I had experienced.  Even with those friends and family who I knew supported our decision to have the abortion, I felt like I had to whisper and hide my real experience, knowing that the details could easily offend or cause uneasy feelings with people within earshot.  It created a temporary shame and guilt within me that I had not ever previously felt (and which was especially unsettling to me, having been a vocal supporter of abortion and pro-choice policies my whole adult life).
 

How to Dry Up Your Milk Supply December 10, 2011

Filed under: Suppressing Milk from Coming In — sammi @ 5:21 pm

A few days after the termination procedure, my breasts suddenly became very sore and engorged.  This “milk issue” came sort of by surprise and added to the already stressful time after the termination procedure.  I wish I would have been better emotionally prepared to deal with breast milk issues.  And again, I could find nothing online about what women experience after a 19th week termination in regards to milk production and suppression.  I know now that milk production typically begins around the 16th week of pregnancy, so most women who have a later termination will experience the discomfort of engorgement.  I used lots of ice packs, massage and wore a sports bra to stop the production of milk and help relieve the pain.  Others swear by the use of refrigerated cabbage leaves applied to each breast and changed every 2 hours.

Here is a blog with many detailed strategies on how to best dry up a milk supply.  The author (Danelle Frisbie) suggests expressing small amounts of milk (by hand pump or manually), drinking sage tea, applying jasmine flowers, using cold compresses, avoiding hot showers, taking Ibuprofen, avoiding nipple stimulation, wearing a good sports bra, staying hydrated and taking other meds and herbs.

http://www.drmomma.org/2011/01/drying-up-milk-supply.html

 

Homage to Dr. George Tiller December 1, 2011

Filed under: Late-Term Abortion Providers — sammi @ 9:38 pm

Dr. George Tiller, one of America’s most dedicated women’s reproductive rights champions. He was killed on May 31, 2009 by an anti-abortion activist.

4 years after my experience terminating a wanted pregnancy in the 19th week, Dr. George Tiller, one of the only few doctors in the country to perform abortions after the 21st week, was shot to death handing out programs at his Wichita, Kansas church.  Prior to that day in May, 2009, Dr. Tiller had survived being shot by an anti-abortion activist in both arms in 1993,  had been the target of protests at his home, church and clinic, endured years of legal harassment and survived a clinic fire-bombing in June, 1986. Dr. Tiller was shot by one bullet to the head and killed instantly by an anti-abortion extremist on May 31,2009.  Scott Roeder, the murderer, was found guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced to life imprisonment without any chance of parole for 50 years in March 2010.

I am so grateful for the extreme courage and dedication of doctors like George Tiller who risk their lives so that women like me can have safe options when faced with the decision to abort.  I came across an amazing website called “I Am Dr. Tiller” which is both a homage to the work of Dr. Tiller and a living testimony to the courageous lives of abortion providers.  On this site, you can read the personal stories of abortion providers (doctors, nurses, counselors, volunteers, etc…) who give testimony about their commitment to reproductive justice, abortion work and the paths that led them there.

http://iamdrtiller.com/

 

Find Out the Pro-Choice Score of Your State’s Congressmen

Filed under: Uncategorized — sammi @ 8:24 am

2012 is looking to be a dismal year for abortion rights in our government.  Pro-Choice lawmakers are outnumbered in both the House and Senate.  Click your state on NARAL Pro-Choice’s website below to learn about how your Congressmen voted in 2011 and see each Representative and Senator’s  “pro-choice score” from 0-100!

 

 

Late-Term Abortion Providers by State

Filed under: Late-Term Abortion Providers — sammi @ 1:06 am

Here is a list I found online from gynpages.com that gives the names of late term abortion providers by state.  Their limit in weeks LMP is given in parenthesis.

Arizona
Phoenix – Family Planning Associates Medical Group (up to 23 weeks LMP)

Arkansas
Little Rock – Little Rock Family Planning Services (21.3 weeks LMP)

California
Beverly Hills – Josepha Seletz, MD / Pro-Choice Medical (24 weeks LMP)
Concord – Choice Medical Group (24 weeks LMP)
Fremont – Choice Medical Group (24 weeks LMP)
Oakland – Family Planning Specialists Medical Group (22 weeks LMP)
Sacramento – Choice Medical Group (24 weeks LMP)
Sacramento – Pregnancy Consultation Center & Medical Group (24 weeks LMP)
San Francisco – Choice Medical Group (24 weeks LMP)
San Jose – Choice Medical Group (24 weeks LMP)
Southern California – Family Planning Associates Medical Group 17 Locations – (up to 21.5 weeks LMP)

Colorado
Boulder – Boulder Abortion Clinic (26+ weeks LMP)

Connecticut
Bridgeport – Summit Women’s Center (up to 17 weeks LMP)
Hartford – Summit Medical Center (up to 17 weeks LMP)

Florida
Orlando – Orlando Women’s Center (24+ weeks LMP)
West Palm Beach – Presidential Women’s Center (22 weeks LMP)

Georgia
Atlanta – Atlanta SurgiCenter (26 weeks LMP)
Atlanta – Feminist Women’s Health Center (25 weeks LMP)
Atlanta – Summit Medical Associates (25 weeks LMP)

Illinois
Granite City – Hope Clinic for Women (24 weeks LMP)

Massachusetts
Boston / Chestnut Hill – Women’s Health Services (23 weeks LMP)

Michigan
Detroit – Northland Family Planning (24 weeks LMP)
Detroit – Summit Medical Associates (24 weeks LMP)
Detroit – Women’s Center Michigan (24 weeks LMP)

Minnesota
Minneapolis – Mildred S. Hanson MD (20 weeks LMP)

Nevada
Las Vegas – Summit Family Planning (24 weeks LMP)

New Jersey
Englewood – Metropolitan Medical Associates (24 weeks LMP)
Union/Union City – Jersey GYN Associates (up to 22 weeks LMP)

New York
New York City / Queens – Liberty Women’s Health Care of Queens (24 weeks LMP)

Ohio
Cleveland – Preterm (22 weeks LMP)

Texas
Dallas – Abortion Advantage (up to 24 weeks LMP)
San Antonio – Whole Woman’s Surgical Center (25 weeks LMP)

Wisconsin
Milwaukee – Affiliated Medical Services (22 weeks LMP)

ANSIRH (Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health) at UCSF has created a new web resource on late abortion <http://www.ansirh.org/research/late-abortion.php&gt; . Incorporated into their website, referral information; resources for women, clinicians, and journalists; facts on later abortion; and information on legal issues, women’s experiences with abortion, and ANSIRH’s Second Trimester Abortion Initiative. Please take a look.

 

Join Walk for Choice November 11, 2011

Filed under: Legal and Political - late-term abortion — sammi @ 11:05 am

The first Walk for Choice, protesting the assault on women’s reproductive rights by a Republican-controlled Congress, took place last year in major cities across the country.  Click the icon below to learn more about the Walk for Choice in 2012!

Walk for Choice, Press Release.